Funny Sentences Choose Ten of Your Word and Write Funny Sentences Pdf
Can you write a whole paragraph without the letter A?
I wouldn't recommend it.
Honestly, your sentences willl just sound wrong.
Everyone will notice you're doing something
different. Your writing won't flow smoothly. You'll
use weird words.
It's not worth the effort involved in spending
time online looking up tons of synonyms which
don't feel right, just to produce weird, stilted
prose.
You'd be better off giving up, to be honest.
warning sign on children's alphabet blocks
Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.
How to describe Mitt Romney in two sentences.
I stand by what I said, whatever it is that I said.
I deny saying that, whatever it is that I said.
The Inauguration of the First Jewish President.
The first Jewish President has just been elected, and is being sworn in. One man in the audience is watching him take the oath, when he realizes he is sitting next to the President's mother.
She turns to him and says,
"You see that man up there, the one with his hand on the book repeating the sentences?"
"Yeah?" He responds
"His brother's a doctor"
I like my women like my sentences
With no periods
Two girls are setting up their new dorm room together.
One is from Georgia and the other is from Connecticut. The one from Connecticut has her mom there helping her put up some blinds. The one from Georgia asks, "Hey! Where y'all from?" The other girl replies, "We're from a place where we know not to end our sentences with prepositions." So the girl from Georgia says,
"Oh, I'm sorry. Where y'all from...cunt?"
3 new inmates discussing their sentences
first new prisoner pipes up "i'm in for murder"
the other two ask him "what did you get?"
"20-life"
second prisoner "i'm in for burglary and rape"
"what did you get?"
"10-15"
third jailbird "i'm in for burning illegal immigrants"
"what did you get?"
"10 to the gallon!"
Why don't English teachers like parole?
They prefer complete sentences.
Is Google a Boy or a Girl?
A girl, because it tries to complete your sentences for you, and it *never ever* forgets what you said.
What do biographers and serial killers have in common?
Multiple life sentences.
is it crazy how saying sentences backwards . . .
. . .create backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?
You can explore sentences convict reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sentences comas dad jokes. There are also sentences puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What happened after the word bank was robbed?
There was a run on sentences.
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
A teacher was teaching sentences in school.
"Wendy," she says. "Say a sentence that starts with the letter I."
"I is..." Wendy says before she gets cut off by the teacher.
"No, it is 'I *am,*' not 'I is.' Try again," the teacher corrects.
"Okay... I *am* the ninth letter of the alphabet," Wendy says.
My identical twin brother and I were both arrested this weekend.
But there was a mix-up during processing. Now we are finishing each other's sentences.
Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?
Because they finish each other's sentences
There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . .
Yet I see the same jokes posted every day.
A Texan says to a Harvard student...
Texan: where are ya from?
Harvard Student: well, where *i'm* from, we don't end sentences with prepositions.
Texan: oh, alright. where are ya from, jackass?
I don't always use complete sentences
But when I do
If ever I commit murder, I'm doing it with Indian flatbread.
Naan violent crimes get shorter sentences in respect for their counterparts.
One by one, a class of fifth-graders were called on to make sentences with words chosen by their teacher.
Nick didn't often participate in class, so his teacher was glad when she saw him raise his hand to give it a try.
"Nick," said the teacher, "make a sentence with the words 'defeat,' 'defense,' 'deduct,' and 'detail.'"
Nick thought for a few minutes then smiled. He shouted, "Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail!"
If I ever commit a murder, I'm doing it with Indian flatbread.
Naan violent crimes almost never merit life sentences.
An Oxford Graduate walks into a bar
Some Texans are mingling at the bar when an Oxford graduate walks in. Howdy, stranger, one Texan says. Where are you from?
The Oxford graduate answers, I come from a place where we do not end our sentences in prepositions.
Oh, I'm sorry, replies the Texan. Where are you from, jackass?
The news is talking about the prison sentences of nearly half a dozen turban-wearing men who committed some minor felonies
"One to Three for Five Sikhs"
I used to use the word Alternative in sentences a lot...
But then I learned it meant something different.
An Englishman comes to Harvard.
Unable to find out the way to the library, he approaches an undergrad. The subsequent conversation is as follows-
Englishman: Excuse me. Could you kindly enlighten me where the library is at?
Undergrad: It's Harvard. People don't end sentences with a preposition here.
Englishman: Oh, I see. Could you kindly enlighten me where the library is at, asshole?
A judge was fired for gross incompetence
He was having trouble putting sentences together
Why do women's prisons give out tampons on release day?
Because all sentences should end with a period.
Accordion to a recent survey...
Most people don't notice when words are swapped for instruments in sentences.
What do periods and jail time have in common?
They both come after sentences.
Today's Horoscope:
"You are easily influenced by what you read and have the ability to make vague sentences somehow applicable to your own existence."
TIL Titles with unfinished sentences
...are hard to resist.
A Texan meets a Havard grad. Curious, he asks:
Texan: Where are you from?
Harvard grad: I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.
Texan: Okay – where are you from, jackass?
I hate when people don't leave a suicide note.
Would it kill them to write few sentences?
Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law?
He was given two consecutive sentences.
When Kim Jong-Un met Donald Trump some questioned whether he could actually speak English
It has now been reported that Trump actually managed several sentences in almost fluent English.
Accordion to studies, its very easy to hide musical instruments in every day sentences.
I find that harp to belive though.
My computer just crashed while I was a couple hours into doing my essay
Now I have to write those two sentences all over again
Two synonymous sentences could have absolutely different meanings.
1. Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
2.Sorry daddy, I've been naughty.
A women is in court for shoplifting a tin of peaches
The Judge says, you are a persistent offender, I've decided I'm going to make an example of you, I'm going to open a tin of peaches and for every peach I count, you will get a month in jail.
He counts 7 peaches, sentences her to 7 months inside and asks for her to be taken down.
As she walks past the gallery her husband, who is not happy with the sentence, shouts at the Judge "SHE HAD TWO TINS OF PEAS AS WELL"
A professor in South Africa is teaching her students how to form Emglish sentences.
Attention class I have two words: Cheetah, and dandelion. Can anybody use these together in a sentence?
One student raises their hand,
The cheetah is faster dandelion.
If not using commas was a crime
would it result in long sentences?
The Last Exam
(Sorry for terrible formatting and grammar)
A Philosophy teacher was handing out empty papers for the last exam of the year. The students had one simple task to complete,
They had to convince their teacher that the chair he had placed on the middle of the classroom didn't exist.
After 40 minutes, students returned their answer sheets. All of them had complex sentences and long paragraphs except one.
It had a single sentence.
What chair?
He was the only one to pass the exam.
[First Date]
Me: Your profile says you're good at finishing sentences?
Her: Yeah, Totally!
Me: Same! I just finished a 20 year sentence for manslaughter
Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.
Read it slowly.
What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?
The topic for my ninth-grade class was palindromes, words or sentences that are the same read forward and backward. I asked the question, "What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?"
I was expecting the answer "Madam, I'm Adam," but one student had a better reply:
"Wow."
The government has started fining its citizens for poorly worded sentences.
It's the syntax
My twin brother called me from jail
He started with, So you know how we finish each other's sentences?
Hear me out!!
Is it wierd how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how wierd it is?
Whats the difference between arguing with a Politician online versus in real life?
He lets you finish your sentences
The guy I am dating has a phobia of people that randomly include clothes in sentences
But overall, this shouldn't be an issue
Doctor tells his patient he only has 6 months to live...
Upset, the patient shoots the doctor.
At his trial, the judge sentences him to 30 years to life in jail and asks him if he feels any remorse.
He replies, "no, your honor. The doctor gave me 6 months to live, and you gave me 30 years."
A Texan visits Harvard ...
He meets a student and asks, "Say there, do you know where the bathroom's at?" The student replies, "Sir, here at Harvard we speak properly, and certainly don't end our sentences with prepositions."
Texan replies, "OK, where's the bathroom at, asshole?"
Jokes without punchlines are pointless,
and incomplete sentences are annoying,
but together
My twin brother and I used to finish each other's sentences ...
but now he's in jail.
Why is it so hard to talk to rich criminals?
Because they never finish their sentences.
Why is Twitter more lenient than Facebook jail?
Because they give out shorter sentences
this is pretty funny
Texan: "Where are you from?"
Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end sentences with prepositions."
Texan: "Okay where are you from, jackass?"
Hey, remember how we used to finish each other's sentences when we were younger?
Well I'm in prison now and I really need a favour
A Southern Belle and snobby New York socialite meet at a swanky party.
The southern belle says, How nice to meet you! Where are y'all from?
The snob sniffs and says, I am from a place where we do not end our sentences with a preposition.
So the belle says, Oh, I'm so sorry. Where are y'all from, *bitch*?
The bad news is, one of the earliest signs of cognitive impairment is the inability to finish sentences.
The good news Is
Did you hear about the English teacher who became a judge?
She was famous for giving out short sentences.
Traditional jokes from my childhood #3
A group of friends were hiking a mountain and were planning on having a picnic up there..
One of the friends stutters a lot on the starts of sentences... On the way up he kept saying "w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-" until they made it to the top of the mountain he was finally able to say "We forgot our food", everyone got mad and sad and started their way back down.
The joke doesn't end here... on the way down he kept saying "J-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j..." until they made it to where they had parked their car he was finally able to say "Just kidding".
A Southern lady sits down next to a Yankee businesswoman on a plane. Trying to be friendly, the Southerner asks, "So, where ya'all from?"
The Yankee sniffs in disdain and replies, "Where I'm from, we don't end our sentences in prepositions!"
The lady, a little shocked by the rudeness says, "Aight, where ya'all from, bitch?"
Source: https://jokojokes.com/sentences-jokes.html
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